A different kind of life

Contributed by Brenda, 36 years old
 
When I was about to get married 10 years ago, I never thought that I wouldnt be a mum by now. In fact my husband and I had discussed having at least two children (and possibly three!) as we are both from large families.
 
In case you think were both career-minded yuppies who are too stressed at work and only want to concentrate on earning more money or getting that promotion - let me tell you now, that isnt the case at all.
 
We certainly tried to conceive, mind you! And we also tried out the various well-meaning advices from relatives and friends on the best way and time to conceive. We went on relaxing holidays, did it first thing in the morning, evenings, and even had an occasional tryst at lunch! I stayed away from pineapples for two years and had to forgo my favourite pineapple tarts during the Lunar New year. I propped my legs against the wall after intercourse and drank winter melon-papaya-black chicken-or something soups. I also bought the indicator sticks which tell you whether youre in your fertile time of the month, all to no avail.
 
Sure we thought about going through IVF but somehow we felt it wasnt for us. Instead we decided to spend more time with our nieces and nephews. Coming from large families, we have a total of 17 nieces and nephews, aged 6 months to 15 years old, you can imagine what Lunar New Year is like for us when everyone is together!
 
Spending time with our nieces and nephews has shown us how important it is to treat each child as an individual with dreams and aspiration. Ive had a lot of fun discussing the latest trends with them, going to the movies, to the zoo or just heading out for ice kacang together.
 
After we returned from our trip to Cambodia, my husband and I are now considering adoption. We figured maybe thats one way we can enjoy the company of children even is we cant have our own. We feel life is full of surprises and we should try to work with what weve been blessed with.